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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Cornwall
    Posts
    11,810

    What Boils Your Wee-wee?

    As I increase in years and waistline I find myself ever more annoyed by stuff.

    Here is a short example of my recent p1ss-warmers:

    • Jeans not pulled up on blokes
    • Jeans pulled up too far on birds (to just under the breastage in some cases...creating an impressive and eye-watering camels toe)
    • Gender-neutralism
    • Parents with 11 kids (she's got one like a wizards sleeve and he's never worked due to a back condition)
    • Coffin dodgers walking slowly in front of me and making me late
    • Blokes with pony tails
    • Taxi drivers who on me closing the door perform a flurry of button presses and hay-presto I have already accrued £8 on my charge without moving via 'extras' that I am too drunk or tired to understand
    • People asking for another vote because we can't have one. If we did then any other vote we have on anything will have a precedent of if people are unhappy with a result they should demand more votes until they get the result they like.
    • Corbyn
    • Laura Kungsberg
    • The reduction in size of wagon wheels
    • Strictly 'go fcuk yourself' Dancing
    • Roads where 2 lanes reduce to one and people stay in the right hand lane to the death and cause jams


    I could go on...anyone want to get something other than biscuit crumbs off your chest?
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    The Goat lives because you post interesting stuff...stop doing that and it will die...so show us your stuff!!

  2. #2
    I don't like:

    1. Lists
    2. Irony
    3. Lists
    4. Repetition
    5. Plagiarism
    vi. Inconsistency
    Last edited by mad_collie; 27-09-2018 at 14:49.
    They used to say if an infinite number of chimps typed we would get the works of Shakespeare, reading E-Goat has proved this is NOT the case...

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Middle earth England
    Posts
    859
    My top 6
    1. Adam Boulton on Sky - blithering er anti er Brexit er despite er everything. Learn to fcuking articulate your speech.
    2. BMW drivers. End of.
    3. BMW Drivers who don't use indicators, as they think it drains the battery.
    4. Nicole Kidman - for living too far away from me and missing out on one of the (regular) joys of life.
    5. People who can't count.
    Last edited by Late & Tired; 27-09-2018 at 16:54.
    "If you had to choose between your wife or winning the lottery, what new car would you pick"?

    Late & Tired

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Living by the C
    Posts
    5,260
    People really get my goat, strange that in my job.

    In particular;

    Politicians

    Mainstream Journalists

    Agents (Travel, estate, sales, recruitment you know the type)

    People who ask for something they know they canít have, who then get ****ed off with you when you confirm it.

    Those that donít man up.


    Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
    Life begins at 40, with a nice payout and job to find

    E-Goat totally unofficial for about 10 Years




  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    On my own little planet
    Posts
    1,501
    My list's fairly short, but quite broad:


    1. People in general
    2. Technology
    3. Social Media
    4. The Media in general

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Cornwall
    Posts
    11,810
    Quote Originally Posted by Witty_Banter View Post
    My list's fairly short, but quite broad:


    1. People in general
    2. Technology
    3. Social Media
    4. The Media in general
    It seems that you can get annoyed by just waking up?
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    The Goat lives because you post interesting stuff...stop doing that and it will die...so show us your stuff!!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Exactly where I want to be
    Posts
    1,761
    1. People who sit in their vehicle waiting for traffic to pass despite the fact thereís a gap the size of the QE feckiní 2 to go through ( learn your cars dimensions people!).

    2. Mainstream media for only ever reporting half a story.

    3. The BBC for making ****e programmes and making me pay a licence fee not to watch any of them.

    4. Donald Trump for NOT starting a war with anyone. Will no-one think of the Arms Industry?

    5. Shirt manufacturers who think all men are either skinny wee ****es with no shoulders or corpulent beyond belief so that itís more like a bloody tent. *******s!

    There are loads more but my fingers getting tired.....

    6. Vim, for making my finger tired!
    'It doesn't matter how beautiful your theory is; it doesn't matter how smart you are. If it doesn't agree with experiment, it's wrong', Richard Feynman.

    'Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason', Mark Twain.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Somewhere between Iraq and a hard place
    Posts
    11,613
    1. Spiders
    2. Women
    3. Spiderwomen
    4. Listening to Vims bellyaching
    5. The government attempting to clamp down on on-line porn

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    East of England
    Posts
    478
    Have we got all night....

    people who go through self-service checkouts in supermarkets with a zillion items that need assistants to approve, de-tag or uncase. These are meant to be fast lanes, people, leave them clear for those of us with just a pint of milk or a newspaper.

    Self-service checkouts that give you your change in the smallest possible denomination coins - if my change is 10p then give me a 10p coin, not a 5p, 2p and 3 x1ps!!!!!

    People who say that women drivers are better than men - nope, there are women drivers who are every bit as bad as some men and, judging by the ones that go through our car park at work, some of them need to learn some speed awareness!

    Women drivers who park outside the school opposite our house and obstruct drives, back alleys and yellow zig-zags for 30 mins because they can't expect little Shardonnayyyy to walk more than 10 yards to the car, especially when they only live 200 yards away (it's a primary school in a densely populated area with a catchment area the size of an international football pitch ffs).

    Fat ugly slags in trackie bottoms and vests on the school run. The view from my house isn't great at the best of times but I don't need my eyes polluting any more!!!!

    Cold calling salespeople who don't understand "if your trying to sell me something stop right now" and persist in trying to sell me something....

    Just about everybody in my management chain....

    Is that enough for now???

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Having a Cockpit W***....
    Posts
    3,042
    1.) C*nts in the RN who think they are capable maintainers.

    2.) C*nts in the RN who don't know they are not capable Maintainers but pretend anyway.

    3.) C*nts in the RN who think they are as well trained as their RAF equivalents......news flash....you aren't.

    4.) C*nts in the RN who f*ck jobs up then get a sh*tty on when informed of their shortfalls in aptitude, attitude, general intelligence and anything else in life.

    5.) C*nts in the RN who enjoy building their mini empires based on nothing but inconveniencing everybody else around them.
    Elitest B'stard.

    Show me a man who never fails and I'll show you a man who never tries.......


 

 
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