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  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Just off the A1.
    Quote Originally Posted by RIGHTHANDSPANKER View Post
    Unfortunately if you have pets you are still expected to clean the carpets, irrespective if they are due to be replaced.
    I'm sorry to hear you were forced to do that. I, my family and my dog left my FQ at Colt without even a march-out as the house was due for complete redecoration. I was just asked to drop the keys through the Estate Office letterbox in an envelope!

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Anyone ever find that the offer of a one-off march out cleaning service tends to be associated by marriage to the person doing the march out? Mine at Northwood and Kinloss were...

    The Goat lives because you post interesting stuff...stop doing that and it will show us your stuff!!

  3. #13


    After moving into my first MQ in 1970 I went to see the Barrack Warden and told him that that the carpet had a hole in it, his reply-

    "Thats impossible, it's not ten years old yet"

    After a lot of complaining they did replace it. The day after it was done the gentleman that put it in returned to chop some off the end with the reasoning-

    "It touches the walls at both ends so it would be classed as a 'Fitted Carpet' which 'Other Ranks' are not entitled to!"

    A painter came around just as I was leaving for work and said he was redecorating the living room. I stupidly asked him what colour he was going to paint it, his reply-

    "I don't know, I haven't opened the tin yet"

    My wife had put a hot pan on the Formica Work Surface and marked it. During '''March Out' the Families Officer, a Warrent Officer wearing white gloves (no, I'm not joking), said that I would have to pay for it replacing, the 'Barrack Warden' said that I had not used any of my 'Crockery Allowance' and they were about to refurbish the kitchen anyway so the damage should be waived. The Families Officer was having none of it and it cost me two weeks wages. We kept in contact with our neighbors and they confirmed that the Formica had indeed been replaced and two weeks later had been ripped out during the refurbishment.

    THEY CALL THEM, THE GOOD OLD DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!😬
    Definition of a Pessimist = an Optimist with experience!

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    They tried to charge me at Northwood for the residue from a dripping tap in the sink...darn Sarth the water is hard (or is it soft? I can never remember but it fecks up your kettle anyway) and it leaves the same milky residue in your metal quarters sink. I'd cleaned it and poked off to our new place in Lincoln to return two weeks later for the march out. In that time the dripping had occurred marking the sink and this tremendous bell-end of an ex Irish Guards Officer wrote down '£27 for a sink clean' in his notes. I asked him to flick in his file to outstanding work orders for the quarter and it said from some months ago 'fix dripping tap' so he was foiled.

    He got me in the end...He detached the oven door from its hinges (which I didn't know you could do to be honest) and found a mixture of a bit of grease and the cleaning fluid I'd used to get the other 99.99% of the oven clean where the two parts had been sandwiched together...£54 for a full oven clean!

    The Goat lives because you post interesting stuff...stop doing that and it will show us your stuff!!

  5. Not a march out...

    On moving into a different flat at a nameless base near Cartoontown, due to the first having no boiler Mrs Courtney discovers shower in new HC towers is U/S.

    A week to fix they say. A week comes, a week goes. Stopcock in flat and in street also both U/S so local water people now needed...time passes.

    So the weekly ritual of HC ringing the 'helpful' estates officer continues - until, JACKPOT "it will be done today" is promised. Excited HC rings Mrs who with authority states no, no it will not - he is not being honest, again.

    Now angry HC goes to office and has a few choice words with said person. An hour later I am hat on in bosses, bosses office being told that in no uncertain terms I am never to speak to any contractor concerning works, again ever. On trying to explain and being told to shut up or else, young HC is visibly turning purple with rage.

    Spotting something is obviously amiss as this is extremely out of character Wobby Orange admin type interrupts proceedings with a raised hand & ask why this is problem for me.

    I explain Mrs HC is the scheduler and dispatcher for the work service contractor on the patch and that I would quite like to speak to my wife about our ongoing issue...

    Shower fixed following morning....

    (By an grey haired calm older plumber (no not an armourer) who live changed the broken stopcock in our flat without spilling a drop, almost like he knew what he was doing)

    March out, flats due to be demolished so only the oven checked by same person above who correctly identified the oven had never been used, much to his disappointment.


  6. Thankfully I never got billled during the 10 or so march-outs I did over the years. Apart from Cyprus I always did them all myself. It was good in a way as at least you knew the house you were moving to, was in an equally good state of cleaniness as the one you left.

    I did hear of a guy who got billed for putting tunnels in his walls to run a train set around his house. But the best was at Episkopi. Of course, the Army would invariably trash their quarters and it was a team effort to get them back to a decent standard. When the RIB left Epi in the early 2000s, the RHF I think, they concoted a plan to reuse the furniture for each march-out as they were being done en-masse. So the first 2 houses were immaculate. After the first one was done a bunch of squaddies would then take the furniture from the first house and into the thrird house, whilst number 2 was being marched out. And so on and so on. I didn't believe it, but did actually turn out to be true. Not sure how that got resolved when most of the houses had tattly furniture inside, depite the perfect march outs in all of them. Can't knock them for ingenuity lol.


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