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MPA Nights - The musings of a very bored SNCO.

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    #61
    Originally posted by Ex-Bay View Post
    One thing I ask. Please will you make sure that any acronyms, short-hand and jargon is explained somewhere for us blokes so long out that it's a mystery ?
    I've already started work on that and have de-jargoned a lot and used in line explanations for other bits. As for acronyms, I'll throw a glossary together but for now, you could have a look at the Goatopedia if you have the time.

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      #62
      Originally posted by The Masked Geek View Post
      I've already started work on that and have de-jargoned a lot and used in line explanations for other bits. As for acronyms, I'll throw a glossary together but for now, you could have a look at the Goatopedia if you have the time.
      Taking the jargon out of 'tour speak' (wherever you are) can take the gloss off it. It needs to be written as it happens at the time.

      Otherwise it becomes 'memoirs'.
      They used to say if an infinite number of chimps typed we would get the works of Shakespeare, reading E-Goat has proved this is NOT the case...

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        #63
        Don't worry MC, I have a gentle brush.

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          #64
          Originally posted by The Masked Geek View Post
          He set himself a challenge; either downrank or disestablish the post before he left.
          The ball is rolling.

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            #65
            Originally posted by The Masked Geek View Post
            The ball is rolling.
            What have you done? Sent a copy of the link to this thread to manning?
            sigpic

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              #66
              Originally posted by shiny_arse View Post
              What have you done?
              Sgt Bloggs performed a full job analysis along with a comprehensive look at cost savings and forwarded a business case to the EngO.

              The Warrant seems to be on board with it so it's just a case of waiting for the management wheels to turn.



              Bloggs also heard that a certain army WO1 is putting in the paperwork to have 21 RAF posts in ISS increased to 6 months, starting in January.......
              Last edited by The Masked Geek; 28-04-2011, 15:34.

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                #67
                Originally posted by The Masked Geek View Post
                Sgt Bloggs performed a full job analysis along with a comprehensive look at cost savings and forwarded a business case to the EngO.

                The Warrant seems to be on board with it so it's just a case of waiting for the management wheels to turn.



                Bloggs also heard that a certain army WO1 is putting in the paperwork to have 21 RAF posts in ISS increased to 6 months, starting in January.......
                Sounds like a childish jealous tw@t, nothing else.

                sigpic

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                  #68
                  Originally posted by mad_collie View Post
                  Maybe TMG is PS, he's just remembered how to type properly.
                  That's watt eye thought but PS got a knew pea sea that had a spiel chequer so may bee youse could be penguins suck?
                  Last edited by Jaymac; 28-04-2011, 21:05.

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                    #69
                    Originally posted by The Masked Geek View Post
                    Sgt Bloggs performed a full job analysis along with a comprehensive look at cost savings and forwarded a business case to the EngO.

                    The Warrant seems to be on board with it so it's just a case of waiting for the management wheels to turn.



                    Bloggs also heard that a certain army WO1 is putting in the paperwork to have 21 RAF posts in ISS increased to 6 months, starting in January.......
                    When I was down there last, the unit I was on tried that, until they found out that it would mean we were entitled to the extra R&R, a flight off island etc. Got stamped on fairly quickly after that.
                    No trees were harmed in making this post, but several billion electrons were terribly inconvenienced.

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                      #70
                      Originally posted by ScoobTech View Post
                      When I was down there last, the unit I was on tried that, until they found out that it would mean we were entitled to the extra R&R, a flight off island etc. Got stamped on fairly quickly after that.

                      The Army reckon they can save money by going to 6 months. And I guess if they mean "save money" like the government did when they scrapped harrier, then they may be correct.

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                        #71
                        Toga Night



                        Bloggs was full of dread. He'd had five nights on the p1ss this particular week and tonight was not going to change his course. His aging body was no longer able to cope with the sustained level of abuse it used to and he was feeling pretty shabby. Tonight was going to be different though; tonight was Toga Night! He'd had some pretty bad experiences at toga nights in the past and this one wouldn't improve his opinion of them.

                        Wrapping himself in his trusty bed sheet, Bloggs set off down to Rats and Traps. It was fcuking freezing but only a girl would consider wearing a coat so Bloggs braved the icy corridor. He arrived at the bar and settled into a round with some of his fellow toga-ites. Things seemed pretty calm but that was not to be for long.

                        "Toga! Toga! Toga!" Came the highly original chant from the RIC as they entered the bar, things were about to go downhill. Stealth bumming was rife and c0cks were out everywhere, had Bloggs wanted to see this much c0ck, he'd have gone to a gay bar but as he never wanted to see any c0ck, there was no danger of that happening.

                        Three hundred blokes and fourteen girls in Togas. It was the usual forces sausage fest with extra sausage thrown in for good measure.

                        Bloggs was annoyed, he had some hairy arsed marine standing at his shoulder with his c0ck hanging out. He was never happy sitting down with penises in his eyeline but this particular member kept nudging his ear. After five minutes of this, he finally flipped, the red mist came down and suddenly he was as hard as ten men; which was just as well, the marine was huge.

                        "Will you get your fcuking c0ck out of my fcuking ear you prick!" Shouted Bloggs, his shoulders thrown back and his chest puffed out to almost comical proportions.

                        "What's your fcuking problem?" Asked the marine.

                        "My problem is that I have some bloke's c0ck in my ear you retard, now either put it away or fcuk off." Bloggs was in the zone, completely oblivious to the fact that the marine would probably squash him like a bug. He was not only in the zone, he was very lucky. The marine, in a moment of uncharacteristic common sense, realised that he was being a tool and moved away from Bloggs, who breathed a massive sigh of relief as the red mist left him and he realised what he'd just done. Bloggs sat in relative silence for a while, not wanting to incur the wrath of any other big fcukers; he wasn't a coward but he knew when he was out classed.

                        Twenty minutes later and Bloggs was starting to consider leaving. There were a bunch of 'Mortar guys' in the bar. These guys were only at MPA for two weeks in support of a RIC exercise or something so they had absolutely no scruples when it came to behaving like animals in the bar. Their behaviour had been degenerating all night and they had just reached the intellect level of a troop of chimpanzees.

                        Mortar tw@t number one decided it would be a good idea to whip out his small c0ck and p1ss all over the floor. Bloggs was sat in stunned silence, eyes wide open and jaw hanging loosely. As soon as tw@t number one had finished p1ssing on the floor, the rest of the mortar tw@ts thought it would be a good idea to start dancing in it and splashing their fellow bar members. This went down like a lead balloon and several skulls got cracked before the tw@ts stopped their retarded behaviour. Then two of them started snoging on the dance floor; two supposedly heterosexual males, snoging on the fcuking dance floor!! Bloggs was rapidly revising his opinion of the Army, not that it was that high to start with.

                        Bloggs had had enough; c0cks in the bar was one thing, golden tsunamis was another and he wasn't staying around for it to get any worse. Like so many other nights in MPA, Bloggs staggered back to his room, remade his bed, and went to sleep.
                        Last edited by The Masked Geek; 03-05-2011, 18:51.

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                          #72
                          If rumour is to believed, it got much much worse...
                          I started to say something sensible then my parents took over my brain!

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                            #73
                            Originally posted by Boarderlyne View Post
                            If rumour is to believed, it got much much worse...

                            and given the current, shall we say "official interest" in the night, I would be daft to put it in print.

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                              #74
                              Continued here: http://www.e-goat.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=37831

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