View Full Version : Good vs Bad Orifices
Twonston Pickle
13-12-2005, 14:19
Further to the Officer's Forum thread, just thought I would crease my crimpoline and sup a pimms whilst opining what makes a good or bad officer.
What tips/stories/examples are out there to help me with my ponderings (good and bad please)?
Flt Lt Badminton-Squash
13-12-2005, 14:47
There are good and bad in all ranks Twonston old boy', and I much prefer a Gin & Tonic myself.
Still, lets see what Mr Nerd makes of this thread?
Should offer some interesting submissions...
Anyway, just a thought...
M_for_Mother
13-12-2005, 15:05
what makes a good Officer?
Probably bespoke shirts from Gieves & Thieves, a Harrow Tie, lifetime membership of 'The Rag' and the ability to resist taking a main meal with dessert.
...Bad?
Plastic shoes, non-English blood and a liking for other mens' skirt (not enough spleen!)
M_for_Mother
13-12-2005, 18:21
Oh yeah, I forgot!
That hand gesture thats half way between pointing and chopping. I think it might be called the 'Warminster Point' , but have no idea why!
Not sure if it makes you a good or a bad Officer though.
tag_lincoln
13-12-2005, 18:30
As Stax pointed out. It is callled indicating! That and the ability to cross shark infested custard are the core elements to effective officering.
I would suggest that only good NCOs and good troops are really able to judge when their boss is good. The moaners just moan whatever and senior officers just want more done for less money.
It is not a popularity contest, just as a very good NCO may not be everyones best mate, but getting the job done whilst doing their utmost to protect the best interest of the lads would be how I would judge myself for better or worse.
Fablon biff chit
13-12-2005, 18:52
What makes a good officer?
Double barrell surname
Bulldog called Winston
Handlebar moustache
Tally ho!
What makes a good officer?
Double barrell surname
Bulldog called Winston
Handlebar moustache
Tally ho!
So you don't need a black Lab called nigger then?
M_for_Mother
14-12-2005, 11:46
Blimey!
I thought the 'n-word' was persona non grata on this website!
sad to see, old chap, very sad.
Double barrell surnameAnd at least 3 syllables in one of them
Bulldog called Winston
No no no. Bulldog? What use is a bulldog for retrieving freshly shot game? Lab/Spaniel/Weinaramer(spelling?) etc pedigree of course
Handlebar moustache
Now you're talking.
Need to add
A large pile in the country (preferably somewhere with the word 'estate' in the title Like this (http://www.blairestate.com) )
A private bank account with one of Daddy's friends
Are you trying to say you haven't seen the film. There is a black lab in it and it is called n, and for a long time formed a large part of the sterotype for officers. The dog was owned by wingco Guy Gibson and its gravestone is at Coningsby. The film was The Dam Busters by the way. Breif history lesson over. There are a lot of things that have been done in the past that are no longer acceptable. It doesn't change just because we find it repugnent now (and I do).
I'm doing it again aren't I someone please take this soap box away from me, I'm begginning to spend my life on it. :eek:
Fablon biff chit
14-12-2005, 13:10
A large pile in the country (preferably somewhere with the word 'estate' in the title Like this (http://www.blairestate.com) )
"Council" Estate?
DrillInstructor
14-12-2005, 13:13
Are you trying to say you haven't seen the film. There is a black lab in it and it is called n, and for a long time formed a large part of the sterotype for officers. The dog was owned by wingco Guy Gibson and its gravestone is at Coningsby. The film was The Dam Busters by the way. Breif history lesson over. There are a lot of things that have been done in the past that are no longer acceptable. It doesn't change just because we find it repugnent now (and I do).
Sorry to contradict old boy but N----- is buried at Scampton (from whence Gibbo and his valiant boys launched their famous mission gawd bless 'em)
Sorry to contradict old boy but N----- is buried at Scampton (from whence Gibbo and his valiant boys launched their famous mission gawd bless 'em)
Sorry. I'll stand corrected, and will be having words with my usually impecable source. :(
Fablon biff chit
14-12-2005, 13:17
Apparently Dambusters is to be remade - hopefully not as some American influenced crap.
But what will they name the dog? Blackie?
DrillInstructor
15-12-2005, 09:07
The English Officer
(extract from the Russian newspaper "Odessa News")
The English Officer is least of all an Officer. He is a rich landowner, house owner, capitalist or merchant and only an Officer incidentally.
He knows absolutely nothing about the Services and is only seen on parades and revues. From the professional point of view he is the most ignorant Officer in Europe. He enters the Services, not to serve, but for the uniform, which is magnificent.
He considers himself to be irresistible to the fair-haired, blue-eyed, English ladies. The English Officer is a beautiful aristocrat, extremely rich, an independent sybarite and epicure. He has a spoilt, capricious and blasé character and loves pornographic literature, suggestive pictures, recherché food and strong drink.
His chief amusements are gambling, racing and sports. He goes to bed at dawn and gets up at midday. He is usually occupied with two mistresses simultaneously, one a lady of high society and the other a girl from the opera or ballet.
His income runs into several thousands, often tens of thousands a year, of which he keeps no account. The pay he receives from the Government hardly suffices to keep him in scent and gloves.
English Officers, especially the young ones, do no work of any kind. They spend their days and nights in clubs noted for their opulence.
Now that is what an officer should be.
The English Officer
(extract from the Russian newspaper "Odessa News")
The English Officer is least of all an Officer. He is a rich landowner, house owner, capitalist or merchant and only an Officer incidentally.
He knows absolutely nothing about the Services and is only seen on parades and revues. From the professional point of view he is the most ignorant Officer in Europe. He enters the Services, not to serve, but for the uniform, which is magnificent.
He considers himself to be irresistible to the fair-haired, blue-eyed, English ladies. The English Officer is a beautiful aristocrat, extremely rich, an independent sybarite and epicure. He has a spoilt, capricious and blasé character and loves pornographic literature, suggestive pictures, recherché food and strong drink.
His chief amusements are gambling, racing and sports. He goes to bed at dawn and gets up at midday. He is usually occupied with two mistresses simultaneously, one a lady of high society and the other a girl from the opera or ballet.
His income runs into several thousands, often tens of thousands a year, of which he keeps no account. The pay he receives from the Government hardly suffices to keep him in scent and gloves.
English Officers, especially the young ones, do no work of any kind. They spend their days and nights in clubs noted for their opulence.
Now that is what an officer should be.
You see that description MFM, that's you that is!
M_for_Mother
16-12-2005, 10:45
I think thats hilarious, good job DI! I must say that, as far as I can tell, that describes just about every Junior Officer I know - especially the part about pornagraphic literature!!
Long live the British Officer: Cad, Bounder and thoroughly bl**dy nice chap!
DI - I sh!t you not, that has just described, down to the thing about having 2 girls one of which is involved in the ballet (they both were, but that's another story), in a complete nutshell the Army GLO I worked with on my last unit. Absolutely and totally!
fugmeister general
16-12-2005, 11:22
i would of thought that to become a good officer you would have to have share in a pyrotechinic & piano companies or just get daddy to pay for them!!!
tag_lincoln
16-12-2005, 13:47
Long thread on the new dambusters movies on ARRSE. Worth a read.
Isn't it strange that the former Russian view of officers is how they used to be percieved in WW1 and between the Wars up until WW2.
Nowadays, the Officer "Class" (certainly among the flying types IMO) seem to be bred to have that atitude - if not the funding - after joining the services!
Pilots atittudes to actually doing 'work' of any sort, and their own 'operational problems' are astounding. An exception to this are most (but certainly not all) helicopter pilots who have to do some sort of 'work' to remain flying.
One rather infamous example was of one pilot who was "made to fill out" a 6442 before flying - and blamed having to do that as the reason for a 'lapse' leading to an Air Incident during a subsequent flight. He obviously couldn't organise his life to fit his chosen career - by doing the said request in the proper time-scale - rather than his letting his eagerness to fly to control him to the exclusion af all else.
P.S. It is alright to slag the flying types here, as they are far too busy reading PPRUNE and mixing with "Professionals" and wouldn't care to look at "lower class" websites. (Sorry e-goat!)
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