Utterly Useless

[wobbly]

JbkVs0l6J58

fook me one of the guys in this video is a gob****e. Go forward to about 1 minute 36. Slagging us off because his air support is a couple of minutes late. Then when it arrives its Whoohoo take that you *******s etc etc.....Great now are we?

Anyway, great vid of the lads on the ground but I wish they wouldn't slag our aircrew off, its our job to do that:PDT_Xtremez_15:

[monobrow]

well, a short transcript for that section.......

F***ing hopeless aren't they?

Hard to believe these f***ers made it to germany with bombers.

It's been 5 minuites since they said 16 seconds.

(unintelligable irish accent but contains an expletive)

(whooosh and boom)

Get F*cked you b*stards!

shocking

[pie sandwich]

Yet little do them feckers realise that we dont go in and bomb the crap out of just anything on their say so unlike the yanks who will drop bombs on anything, we have to make dam sure it's a legal target to hit and it's safe to do so.

[exerk]

Top bit at the end where they kick the doors in and put the windows through...real hearts and mind stuff there ::/:

[JAFAD666]

Top bit at the end where they kick the doors in and put the windows through...real hearts and mind stuff there ::/:

Spot on m8, He must be from the Queens Own ASBOrderer`s. Utterly useless is open to question, mindless vandal, proven wanker

[gemarriott]

In the absence of Bruce I feel it incumbent on me to comment on the shocking waste of ammunition and ordnance by the Pongoes. 3 mortar rounds down the same hole without changing sighting once, blowing a fekker up once should be enough I would have thought.

Profligate I tell you Profligate

[Red-Rock]

In the absence of Bruce I feel it incumbent on me to comment on the shocking waste of ammunition and ordnance by the Pongoes. 3 mortar rounds down the same hole without changing sighting once, blowing a fekker up once should be enough I would have thought.

Profligate I tell you Profligate
Not a waste if he's laying down supressive fire though. I've sent a lot more than 3 down a barrel on supressive fire missions I can tell ye. (ex 81mm Mortar No1, 3 Sqn RAF Regt):PDT_Xtremez_30:

[T55]

You have to remember that the Army think they own everything when the word "Joint" creeps into a title! They like ownership yet never accept blame.

[shotgun]

One point everyone seems to be missing is, who's the tw@t filming it all while his mates are busy defending their position

[MetalMonkey]

The whole 'Utterly, Utterly Useless' discussion seems to have fallen victim to the Romanian Hacker attack.

However, I found this response by Clarkson floating around our network, well worth a read.


Ever since man discovered he had a penchant for war, there has been rivalry between the services. This is all to do with pride and tribalism and, generally speaking, it’s a good thing. However, when a leaked e-mail from an army officer describes the RAF as “utterly, utterly useless”, you get the distinct impression that this is far beyond good-natured teasing. You have visions of him lying in a ditch desperately calling for air support and hearing nothing over the radio but the sound of a Harrier’s starter motor whirring uselessly. The problem, of course, has nothing to do with the people who fly or service the planes and everything to do with those grinning buffoons in Westminster who’ve spent the past five years unable to see what’s going on due to the fact they’re all deep inside George Bush’s bottom. You read about billions being shaved from the budget and squadrons being merged to cut costs and, frankly, it doesn’t mean anything at all. Not when you’ve just been startled out of your skin by a Tornado that has flown between your chimney pots at 4 million knots.

However, I’ve done a bit of checking and it seems the RAF can field five strike attack squadrons that must share 60 Tornados. Then there are the offensive squadrons, which have 26 Harriers and some Jaguars, which may as well be Sopwith Camels. And that’s it. In total, with the air defence Tornados, they have just 150 aeroplanes that can actually do fighting. The Luftwaffe has more than twice that. So do the cheese-eating surrender monkeys. In an air war we’d struggle to beat the Bubbles. Of course 150 fighting planes is fine when all we have to worry about are a handful of mad Irishmen, but since Mr Blair realised that his retirement fund relied on being popular in the land of the brave, we’re now fighting what seems like half the world. It is an extraordinary scandal and what makes it just so shiversomely hideous is that Blair and Brown and all the other useless fools who preside over our wellbeing know full well they can get away with it.

Strip the NHS of funds and pretty soon you’ll have a bunch of nurses on television sobbing. Decimate the fire brigade and immediately the streets will be full of men in donkey jackets, standing round braziers. But the forces? You can squeeze their gonads until their eyes pop out and still they won’t moan. When asked recently if the British Army could cope, its new top man General Sir Richard Dannatt replied: “Just”. He can’t come out and say: “Are you joking?” Because this is not the army way. Even though he’s waging war on two fronts using US helicopters that shoot themselves down and Sea Kings that have a top speed of four knots if it gets hotter than 57C — which it does in Iraq, a lot — he still has to stiffen his upper lip and tell the world that everything is tickety boo.

It’s not just the top brass, either. Back at home, quietly, soldiers may tell their loved ones that things are pretty bleak. But have you ever heard one say so publicly? Were they at the Trades Union Congress in their apple-green short-sleeved nylon shirts banging on the tables demanding more money and better equipment? No they weren’t. They were out there, far from the television cameras, in a sh!t-awful part of Afghanistan fighting with pointed sticks. I do hope Blair can sleep easily at night knowing that the blood of a thousand British soldiers and airmen is paying for his lecture tour pension fund. And I hope, too, he realises that if the RAF really is “utterly, utterly useless”, it’s all his fault.


My personal highlight is: "But the forces? You can squeeze their gonads until their eyes pop out and still they won’t moan." :PDT_Xtremez_35:

[Olovv]

I have always liked Mr Clarkson, what a top quote

'The problem, of course, has nothing to do with the people who fly or service the planes and everything to do with those grinning buffoons in Westminster'

Not sure I Look Nothing Like Kevin Costner will like the Jags being likened to the sopwith camel though

I will await a comment from him on this matter

[I Look Like Kevin Costner]

I have always liked Mr Clarkson, what a top quote

'The problem, of course, has nothing to do with the people who fly or service the planes and everything to do with those grinning buffoons in Westminster'

Not sure I Look Nothing Like Kevin Costner will like the Jags being likened to the sopwith camel though

I will await a comment from him on this matter

Unfortunately Mr Clarkson may have had his researcher doing some digging, but he knows Fcuk all about airpower issues such as CAS like all other journo's. The Jag may as well be a Sopwith Camel in his eyes and in relation to a Typhoon in performance there is a grain of truth. In regards to doing its job however, The Jags track record is flawless, its kit beats everything else in putting a bomb on a target that we have got. If the Jag had gone to the Stan, the reality would have been its performance in action would have been no worse to the other RAF type being used (propabaly better, knowing our jocks):PDT_Xtremez_31:

[Mustang]

Unfortunately Mr Clarkson may have had his researcher doing some digging, but he knows Fcuk all about airpower issues such as CAS like all other journo's. The Jag may as well be a Sopwith Camel in his eyes and in relation to a Typhoon in performance there is a grain of truth. In regards to doing its job however, The Jags track record is flawless, its kit beats everything else in putting a bomb on a target that we have got. If the Jag had gone to the Stan, the reality would have been its performance in action would have been no worse to the other RAF type being used (propabaly better, knowing our jocks):PDT_Xtremez_31:

Being ex-Jag I would like to agree with you about its ability to put bombs on target however COMMA I know some Tonka crews who would question that, and I have seen the results- impressive!:PDT_Xtremez_19:

[I Look Like Kevin Costner]

Being ex-Jag I would like to agree with you about its ability to put bombs on target however COMMA I know some Tonka crews who would question that, and I have seen the results- impressive!:PDT_Xtremez_19:

I was actually talking about the Heaps (no offence to the Tonka's). We were with a Harrier unit in Oman and our results were better.

[Comms_Lad]

Now, now children this isnt a "who works with the best jet" thread (only because my computer aint got an engine or wings therefore dont fly so I would lose lol).

But is the RAF "Utterly, Utterly Useless"? it is only as "Utterly, Utterly Useless" as the Army and the Navy and Clarkson hits the nail on the head in his article, thanks to Tony Blair and Company we are "Utterly, Utterly Useless", but F**K me we make "Utterly, Utterly Useless" look damn good dont we?

We have sh**e kit, but we make it work to the best of our abilities, we get the job done and yes we are sick and tired of havin to make do, but we are the best at making do we have done it for years and will keep doing it for years to come. The yanks seem to have all the kit, but lost the instructions on the way to the desert.

This was the case of one officer venting and everything getting blown all out of proportion (thank you journalist type people). A private comment leaked out into the real world, so it hit home a bit for us, but we are all thinking it we (the British Armed Forces) are "Utterly, Utterly Useless", the real reason is why arent we doing anything about it.
More senior officers should leak their e-mails out to the media, I doubt Tony and Co will do anything about it, but the publicity might get us somewhere. In the absence of a Trade Union lets use a bit of well place propoganda to help us out.

Just an idea:PDT_Xtremez_21: